Sunday, May 23, 2010

Nick walked slowly hesitantly into Kathy’s hospital room. The sounds and smells all too familiar to him. This time it was his beloved Kathy in that bed fighting to stay alive, hooked up to life sustaining machines. The mansion gate was a shrine to her. He was floored by the response of friends and fans, flowers and chocolates filled the front of the house. He was suddenly struck with the realization he had brought her neither. He’d been so preoccupied with her shooting and Nicky’s abduction. Maybe he had developed Kathy’s there’s always tomorrow philosophy. He’d found out the hard way when Angie died. The first and only time he’d brought her flowers was at her funeral. There were always seemed to be two women in his life drawing him in but that wasn’t because he found them lacking. Maybe he had so much to give, more than one person could handle. He wondered if they found him lacking. Kathy’s obsession with chocolate. It stimulates the brain like love does. Had he let her down not giving her all the love she needed and deserved. Did she find him lacking as father, lover and companion. Had his abandonment pushed her into a life she didn’t want, one she regretted. Kathy was so lifeless so pale, not the vibrant woman he cherished. Could he take Nicky‘s mother from him and carry that burden the rest of his life. The thought of her death overwhelmed him as much as it pained him. He took her hand and cried at the thought of losing her. God how he missed her touch, her smile, that sweet scent that was drown out by the sickly antiseptic smell of that place. What if the damage was so severe she’d never wake up and never be his Kathy again. Could he make that fateful decision and end her life? Could he end the life of his lover, the mother of his child if needed? He held her hand willing her his love and strength offering up his own life instead.
“Please God take me,” he pleaded softly. He had nothing without her and Nicky. He was nothing and there would be no point in going on with out them. Why had they been given to him only to be taken away? It was no mystery to him why he could never be a priest as his mother wanted. He had no faith. He had no God. His life had been spent believing in one thing, himself. It was all about the control and placing his life in someone else’s hands was beyond him. Even as his mother lay dying wracked with pain she still believed, still had faith. In Nick’s life there were no miracles only chances to be taken. Battles to be won or lost. God would mean that his life was not in control. Someday he would have to answer for his life, his actions. That thought terrified him and pushed him deeper into denial. The world would survive without him in it and Jack would at long last have peace in his life.
Nick walked out of the bathroom to find Kathy’s doctor at her bedside. He jumped when he saw Nick. “You’re a hard man to find.”
“I don’t think it’s safe to be around me right now.”
The doctor saw the look in his eyes and wondered if it was ever safe to be around this man. How did some become deadly and others just mildly bothersome to society.
Nick cleared his throat struggling to speak without tears. “She squeezed my hand earlier that’s a good sign right?” Nick said desperately grabbing at any glimmer of hope.
“It could just be a reflex. We don’t know what goes on in the mind when someone’s in a coma. The last scan showed the swelling has stopped. We don’t know what kind of damage, blindness, paralysis, memory loss. The brain appears to be functioning but you may have a choice to make. When the swelling goes down we’ll take her off the ventilator and see if she can breath on her own.”
Nick moved so quickly the doctor took a step back. “All I have heard from you is a whole lot of I don’t knows. You don’t take her off unless I’m here do you understand? I’m not giving up on her.”
Once the doctor got his heart of his throat said. “I’m sorry Mr. Dempsey but that’s all I have to offer you at the moment. The human brain is as fragile as it is resilient. I see people who suffer great trauma and survive while others with seemingly simple injuries not survive. Sometimes it’s simply out of our hands it’s up to them,” he said nodding to Kathy.
Nick appreciated the Dr.’s honesty and lack of fear. He had no doubt faced more than his share of hysterical family members. Nick ran his hand nervously through his hair.
“Thanks for the truth,” he said sheepishly.
“Well here’s some more. You look like you’re going to keel over. If…when she wakes up she’s going to need you for a long while to come. If you won’t do it for you than do it for her-get some rest.”
Nick nodded and extended his hand and the doctor shook it vigorously. Get some rest that was easier said than done. Somewhere out there was his son.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Nick stood in the shower letting the hot water soothe his aching muscles. He’d forgotten what a demanding lover Angel was. He scrubbed his skin but no amount of soap and water could wash away his sin. Her touch, her scent permanently burned into his flesh. Angel was his equal in bed challenging, demanding always pushing him to his limits. It burned bright and hot like a shooting star; it was always over quickly with both satisfied with the results. With Kathy sex was slow leisurely. She savored sex like she did chocolate enjoying every bit until the end. Kathy awed him and he worshiped her completely. The bond he shared with both these women were too strong to be denied. He did what he had to do for Kathy and little Nicky but God help him he enjoyed it. Now that Angel was back in his life how could he live with out her.
The shower door opened and Angel stepped in to join him. “Nick,” she said reaching out to touch him. He recoiled as if her touch would burn him.
“You can’t screw your way out of this one Angel. You shot my wife and kidnapped my son. There’s no forgiving that. Give me my son,” he growled. His tone sent shivers down her spine but the man that stood before her was beleaguered and broken. She saw the pain in his eyes and it tore at her heart. Would he have shown such devotion to their child? She looked into his chocolate brown eyes which had now turned dark and angry. She saw death reflected in them; hers. She shivered even as the warm sprays of water caressed her skin. Had she pushed him to far?
“This just can’t be about us, about sex. Tell me what you want,” he said shaking her.
“They’ll kill us all,” she whispered. Her words sucked the life out of him. Nick braced himself against the shower wall. He felt his strength leaving him swirling around like the water in the shower drain then it was gone. He sank slowly to the shower floor not noticing the water had turned tepid. Unaware Angel was standing over him shivering in the cool spray. She reached out a shaky hand and turned the water off.
“Why?” he asked staring, unblinking at the tile wall. “Why do all this? To punish me? Why not kill me and be done with it?“
“No, they want you to do something. We’re meeting with them later. I don’t know anything more or I’d tell you.”
“God damn you.” His dark eyes moved to hers searching for something she couldn‘t give him. He saw a fear there that went beyond any emotion he could wring from her and he knew to take this seriously. Was she the mastermind in a twisted plot of revenge or was she merely a pawn like the rest of them? He’d never hit a woman before but when he reached out to touch her she pulled back. “I told you I’d never hurt you. I just wish you would have done the same for me.”
Maybe God had already damned her, abandoned her seven years ago when they took her baby from her. How could Hell be any worse than wondering everyday what had happened to her child. She was already lost in a deep abyss of darkness she would take his anger as deserved. Maybe he’d never slapped or beaten her as Carlos and Meyers had but what he had done to her somehow seemed far worse. For the first time in her life she felt love and hope then he took that away and since there had been only darkness. She’d given him her heart and soul and his rejection had so completely destroyed her. Was first love the most special? She never stopped loving him even through his marriage and birth of his son he was always in her heart. Loving him, hating him praying he’d know the pain she had. Revenge left her cold and empty aching for the man she’d reaped it upon. One more stab in her soul until it was shredded like paper in the wind. There was only one thing that got her up in the morning, the hope of finding her daughter. A for a brief time they had shared a love, a soul and they had created a life. A precious child that was taken from her, a child Nick knew nothing about. How would he react to this news? Would he deny this precious gift or would he do anything to find her as she had. Giving herself to that pig Meyers with the promise he’d find her child. Who better to find her missing child than the FBI. Her child’s father she realized too late. She couldn’t tell him yet and add to the pain of losing another child. The suffering was there in the dark eyes that searched hers for an answer. The anger that filled her heart was replaced with pity
His worst fears were realized his son was a pawn in someone’s deadly game of revenge. She didn’t understand his world. They would no doubt kill them all in the end anyway. Anyone who knew Nick knew they would pay with their lives for hurting his family.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

“What about what you did to me. You sent me home to the hell I ran away from. You left me for…” she said defiantly.
“Don’t you dare speak her name after what you did.” Anger won out and he sprang on her like a cat on a bird, his hand gripped her throat. She closed her eyes and breathed him in the rich male scent of him so familiar. She sucked in her breath waiting as the hand tightened. She had seen the predatory look in his eyes before when he felt threatened. Watched him kill without mercy, without hesitation. Her savior had turned out to be an undercover vice cop. The tears fell down her cheeks, warm and wet. For the child she’d never see. If her life was going to end now she wanted it to be by his hand. Just to touch him, taste him one last time. Suddenly the grip loosened and he brushed away the tears.
“All I wanted was you,” she sobbed.
The two men in the room down the hall jumped at the sound. The noise amplified by the listening device they had planted in the room. Kyle looked at Bob with wild eyes.
“He’s gonna kill her,” Kyle exclaimed. “I know I would.”
“You don’t know Dempsey. He thinks with his dick. He might put the fear of God into our little Angel but he’d never hurt her.”
“I don’t know how you can sit by while she seduces him you two are…” Kyle said.
“Kyle she was just a wild ride. She’s a whore, she’s his whore and she’d sell her soul to be with him,” Bob said. He turned to leave the room. He knew what was going to happen between them. As much as he pretended to the world he didn’t care he felt like his heart was ripped from his chest and Dempsey was going to die for this.
“Maybe she did,” Kyle mumbled. He’d never seen such a cold bastard as Meyers.
Even if he couldn’t admit it the thought of Dempsey touching her hurt him. He knew she’d never belong to him, Dempsey would always be between them. He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. He blew the smoke out slowly watching as the puff of smoke floated across the room like a cloud in the sky. Angels love for Dempsey, another reason for him to hate the man. The list was ever growing and endless. If things turned out the way he wanted Dempsey would be in jail or better yet dead. How would she feel about him then would it stop her obsession with the man. He’d been with enough women to know she was faking it. They were using each other to get what they want. He wanted her and she wanted Dempsey. He’d had her for almost four years now but she was like a caged wild thing. The longer he held her the more she pulled away. The caged cat he’d seen at the circus, pacing, waiting for death the spark of hope gone from it’s eyes. He had a feeling things were going to end badly for all of them. The price you pay for their obsessions. The thought that Kathy wasn’t dead nagged at him she’d seen him and knew who he was. When all this was over Dempsey would have no credibility but Kathy could point the finger at him. He had to find a way to finish the job.
“I never meant to hurt you my sweet Angel.” He picked her up in his arms and carried her
to the bedroom and laid her onto the bed. Tears glistened in the green eyes he had lost himself in so many times before. He looked in those eyes and saw the frightened girl he had known what seemed like a lifetime ago. God, what had he done to her. Had his rejection created this confused mess before him. She was so you and he never knew her feelings for him were so deep. He had only seen her as a child in a woman’s body. A beguiling temptress who had drawn him in. No matter how hard he tried to deny it he had loved the woman who was half his age. He held her tightly, hating her, wanting her, loving her. She reached up and pulled him down to her. He saw the look in her eyes and knew what she wanted.
“Don’t make me do this. I love…” Angel wrapped her hands in his thick dark hair and silenced him with a kiss. Pushing away from her he lay back on the bed confused and angered at being drawn into this nightmare. Angered at his body’s reaction to her even after all she had taken from him. From the look in her eyes he knew there was no way around it. He was going to give her what she wanted like it or not.
Angel straddled him and began to unbutton his shirt. She pulled it back and her breath caught in her throat.She ran her hand along his cheek. “You can barely see the scar Carlos gave you. It was the last thing Carlos did,” Angel whispered.
“You killed him to protect me. How could you hurt me like this now?”
She wanted him to suffer the way she had all these years wondering what had happened to her child. Was she alive or dead was she loved and cherished in the way she could have done.
Angel ran her hands across his battle scarred chest. So many more scars, so much more pain she told herself and now she was adding to it. He closed his eyes and thought of Kathy fighting for her life and the thought of betraying her was painful. But he knew more than anything she needed her son. Angel unzipped his jeans and reached inside. Nick wound his hands in the sheets trying hard not to give her a response. If it had been any other woman he would have been successful. Sex with Angel was always wild, unrestrained and forbidden but now it was an act of betrayal.
“You know you want this as much as I do,” she murmured brushing his lips with hers.
He threw her off and rose from the bed. The idea of this sickened him but Nicky’s life hung in the balance. He’d do the devil to save his son. Kathy would forgive him, she’d understand.
Angel smiled as the faded jeans and boxers fell to the floor he was still as magnificent as she remembered. She shivered in anticipation as he joined her in bed. She didn’t know if the room was bugged and didn’t care. She was going to have the man she loved one last time even if the price was her life. The last eight years without him she had only been going through the motions. Staying alive, surviving only to find her daughter.
He kiss was deep and demanding. Nick put his hand on the delicate fabric of her blouse and yanked. She gasped as buttons flew and fabric tore. Quickly she struggled to remove the rest of her clothing before it too was destroyed by his hand but she wasn’t fast enough. Skirt and panties met the same fate as her blouse. His hands moved possessively over her fevered flesh it was as if time had stood still and she was still the young girl held captive by his touch. Nick wasn’t the first man she’d had sex with but he was her first lover, first love. Eight years later no one had been able to take her to this place. To ignite the wildfire with in her. Only his touch could take away the pain that had consumed her these past years. Today she feared him as much as she desired him. She touched the scar on his side that she’d sown closed so long ago. His body was a little more battered but still firm and hard beneath her fingers. His words said no but his body remembered the pleasure. She fought back the tears of joy. He was hers again if only for a little while. Strong hands traced the body of the woman she had become. She didn’t need any foreplay she’d been waiting almost eight years for this moment. She wanted it to be rough and painful because she deserved it for her part in this but it wasn’t.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Angel was terrified and anxious but she needed to see Nick for the sake of them all. Meyers and his friends had plans for Nick and they were using his son as the bait. She wrote the note several times until her hand finally stopped shaking and the words were legible. They’d arranged a time and a place for her to meet him.
“There’s too many eyes on Dempsey. Were giving it to Jack as far as we can tell no one is watching him.”
“I don’t care what you do. This wasn’t what I got I into this for.” She remembered Jack. He had been kind to her all those years ago. What would he think of her now?
“Yeah, you’ve got Dempsey’s kid in the other room. You replace one kid with another.”
“Do you think it’s that simple to replace a child? You’re dumber than I thought.” Angel walked off into the bedroom. Nicky was crawling around the crib fussing. “I’m so sorry little man.” She picked him up out of the crib and took him to the chair. She sat down and he snuggled into her chest. “I love you, Nicky,” she murmured, gently stroking his back. No child could be replaced, no child could replace her daughter. She put her faith, her trust in the wrong man, realizing too late he had no intention of helping her find her daughter.
Meyers watched from the doorway as she held Nick’s child. He headed to the kitchen for a drink and headed to the garage for a cigarette. No smoking in the house since she brought the kid to the house. He was still struggling with the idea of killing Angel, too. Part of him wanted her dead and part of him wasn’t sure he could live without her.

Nick’s hands were sweating as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. He was on his way to see Angel. His heart pounded and his stomach ached at what he would find and how he would react. Would Nicky be there with her? A part of him never stopped loving her but this betrayal was devastating. Would he take her in his arms or would he take her life? He circled the block in the borrowed car and parked the next block over. It had been a long time since he felt this kind of fear and excitement. He watched and listened all his sense heightened by the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He took a deep breath and tried to steady his nerves before he knocked on the door. He had to stay calm and focused, his sons life depended on it. What ever demand she made he would do it. all that mattered was seeing his son back safely in Kathy’s arms. He knocked on the door of the address he was given. “Come in’” a muffled voice yelled from behind the door. His breath left him when he saw her in front of the window. Her skin glowed and light danced on her hair. Bathed in the soft glow of sunset she looked like an angel and she was his Angel then and forever.
His anger turned inward and all he wanted to do was touch her. To feel the flesh, to hear her sighs. He realized he was hers and a piece of him always would be. He had never stopped craving her anymore than he would a line of coke or a shot of Jack Daniels. Each woman he loved he carried a piece of her with him, only death could break that bond. Angel was a painful part of his past and had no place in his future.

Angel’s breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t believe at long last the man she loved stood before her and the look of hatred in his eyes was for her. She scanned the room quickly for a way out or a weapon if she needed it. But deep down she knew she’d never be able to hurt him anymore than she already had. What could be more painful than killing his wife and stealing his child? Yet somehow her fate was worse never having held or seen her child before it was taken away. How long did she have to wait to feel her daughter in her arms. She inched her way towards the hallway, this was a horrible mistake. His dark angry eyes never left her for a moment. She’d forgotten how lethal he was, like a cat quick silent, deadly. The silence terrified her.
“She’s not dead,” he hissed and in a heartbeat Nick closed the distance between them.
“You bitch. I can’t believe you did this to me!” Nick screamed. Angel backed into the wall broken pictures sent shards of glass at her feet. To see her again was like opening an old wound the pain leaked from him like the blood of his victims, it covered him, engulfed him until he thought he’d drown in its depths. His sins had been cast upon his son.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Nick drove around aimlessly the mansion was a crime scene and even if it wasn’t he couldn’t have stayed there. Kathy’s blood and Nicky’s empty bed taunted him. Nick’s mind was consumed with Angel and where had she been all these years. She obviously wasn’t the happy homemaker he’d envisioned. He found her to be lethal and ruthless in the pursuit of what she wanted qualities he shared and understood. The fact she wanted him could cost Kathy her life. He would have done anything Angel asked to spare Kathy this pain. He should have known Angel was troubled; kids don’t normally run away from happy homes. And the time she’d spent with Carlos had to have done damage. He’d seen the bruises and felt her tremble in fear. There must been more going on with her than he realized and now it was too late. If he hadn’t been so screwed up at the time maybe he could have seen the pain and helped her instead of pushing her away out of guilt. There had been so much blood and death with his last assignment all he had wanted to was to drown out the pain and the guilt. He’d shut down and crawled inside a bottle of Jack Daniels. At the time he hadn’t been in any shape to help himself much less any one else. That mistake came with a high price tag, his wife and child. By failing her he had failed them all.
He’d always wondered if someday his past would come back to haunt him. Someday when he least expected it a bullet or a well placed knife blade would end his life. He always imagined he’d be the object of their wrath not Kathy, not his family. Those thoughts never entered his head since his move to Minnesota. All had been peaceful since he ended the life of the small town serial killer. There was no fear in that place. The only predator he feared there were bears and wolves. It had been so many years since his days in vice but bad people tended to have long memories. He’d taken Angel away from that life could she have some how found her way back into it or was it simply an angry ex lover seeking revenge. If only he had told Kathy she couldn’t come back to this place. She had given him so much a peace he never thought he’d find in this life. How could he not give her what she needed in return.
“Damn it Nick answer the phone,” Jack cursed softly. Kathy had taken a turn for the worse during surgery and Nick needed to be here to make some decisions if the damage was too great.
Then phone on the seat next to him vibrated. A cold shiver ran through him. He didn’t need to answer it he knew what the caller had to say. Kathy was dead. He had felt her die. He picked up the vibrating phone and held it.
“I know it’s beautiful there baby but you’ve got to fight for us. I’ve never asked for anything but I’m asking you now.” He closed his eyes. “Please don’t take her,” he whispered. Her fate was out of his hands now. If there was such a thing as a merciful God he’d never seen it. Death and chaos had been his constant companions for as long as he could remember. Perhaps what he put out into the world is what came back to him. Had he chosen that life or had it chosen him. Maybe to receive mercy you had to be able to show mercy. Right now there was no such emotion in his heart. There was only revenge and destruction. Kathy had been his sanctuary the calm, loving port in his turbulent life. She brought out a side of him he never knew existed. He was a kinder gentler man with her in his life what would he be without her?
He turned the car around and headed towards a life and time he’d turned his back on years ago. How many snitches would still be alive and willing to cooperate. Somehow he had to get information on Angel and where she had taken his son. He couldn’t go back to that hospital empty handed and sit by Kathy’s bedside knowing he couldn’t give her the one thing she needed to survive; their son. His heart ached never in a million years would he have thought a child could steal his heart. But Nicky seemed to be the best of both of them a perfect blending of fearlessness and gentleness. His heart and his soul belonged to his family and he’s do whatever it takes to reunite them. Kathy needed Nicky to pull through and Nick needed them both.